This personal narrative is written by one of my grade 4 students. He has successfully sequenced the events leading to the climax, which is descriptively depicted, helping readers to vividly imagine the scene. He has used some of the elements of fiction, such as dialogue to make the narrative an interesting piece to read. He has also used a number of literary devices, such as simile and imagery, to help readers imagine the events in the plot. Finally, he has presented his thesis clearly at the end of the story.
My Basketball Boo Boos
It was a snowless chilly morning, and I was just doing my homework at my desk. After I finished, I looked around the house, wondering what to do. Suddenly, I came up with an idea. I walked into my brother’s room and asked him, “Hey, Hugo, want to play basketball?” “Sure, why not?” he replied with a smile.
This was very unusual because my brother is usually very busy. We ran outside, took the ball, and started playing. We played for a long time, and soon it got dark. I was exhausted, and so was my brother! However, to my surprise, he asked me as he was throwing the ball, “Do you want to play five more minutes?” I just nodded my head and mumbled a yes.
We probably had played about two hours when my brother announced that he was having his last shot at the basket. As I expected he missed the basket, and the ball hit the rim and bounced back, rolling down the driveway. “Get that!” yelled my brother, who was just ready to drop. I was really tired and didn’t have the energy to run for the ball. So, instead of chasing after the ball, I shuffled.
When I finally got close, I started to speed up, but because I was running downhill, I accidentally stepped on the ball and went FLYING!!!
My body flew off the ground, and THAT wasn’t good news. I landed with a splat on the driveway tarmac. My right knee was bleeding, and my hands were scraped.
I gave out a loud ouch, and my brother galloped toward me. Having examined my injuries, he immediately darted into the house to get some band-aids while I was sitting on the driveway too tired to move. Soon, he reappeared with my mom and some band-aids.
My mom had a worried look on her face and questioned me, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” I just told her, “I’m fine, mom.”
On that day, I learned a painful lesson. I should not have kept playing after I felt I was too tired to. Had I heeded my body’s call for rest, I would not have had the boo-boos.