“BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” I immediately woke up with a fright, trying to get my alarm to turn off. It had been 3 whole months since I had to wake up this early. I sluggishly pushed myself out of bed and slowly started getting ready for my first day of eleventh grade. It was a gloomy, wet day in Toronto. Getting ready for eleventh grade felt exactly like getting ready for grade ten. Nothing felt different about the first day of eleventh grade compared to any other day of school. It just felt like a regular Tuesday morning. I put on my school’s uniform, brushed my hair and teeth, and then went down to eat my breakfast as always.
I’d had this exact breakfast for years now. A slice of white bread with a bowl of lucky charms and milk. Easy enough to make quickly and just enough to get me through until lunch. It may not have been my favorite breakfast but it was efficient. Everything I did felt familiar, a routine that has been permanently etched into my brain. Except one thing. Something felt off. Something was missing. I missed my sister, Tina.
Ever since I could remember, my sister had always been with me through all my first days of school. Tina had gone to University abroad. I thought I would enjoy finally not having her around, but it felt weird. It felt…quiet, almost too quiet. I had always had a fight with my sister on the first day of school. In first grade, I vividly remembered yelling “I HATE YOU” to Tina and her screaming “WELL I HATE YOU MORE!” Why? That part I had forgotten. Sitting at the table taking a bite out of my bread I remembered second grade. “UGHH YOU ARE SO ANNOYING”, I remembered screaming to my sister. Why were we even fighting?
I remembered the first day of third, fourth, fifth, all the way to tenth grade vividly. We had fought during all of them. Every. Single. One of them. Although I noticed it had slowly turned more verbal and less physical as we grew older and matured, we still had an argument through every single one of them. About what? I couldn’t remember. I thought long and hard trying to remember them, but the only thing I could remember was the fighting and insults, not why we were even fighting. Thinking back on it, now it all just felt pointless.
I checked my watch and it was time to go. I looked down at my breakfast. I barely ate anything. As I walked to school, I thought about me and my sister. I used to despise her, but now, I just felt regret. Why did we waste so much time arguing when we could have just been friends?
As I walked into my school, I found my new locker and stuffed my bag inside and headed to my class. I barely survived the first day of school. I was hungry and tired and just wanted to go back home. “BRINGGGGG” the bell rang abruptly just as I was about to fall asleep listening to my teacher lecture us about something I wasn’t paying attention to. I packed my stuff and left school. The first day of school usually went by fast but this time it felt like an eternity had passed. As soon as I got home, I went straight to my room and lay down on my bed.
“ANGELAAA DINNER IS READY,” my mom yelled. I looked at the clock and 3 hours had passed already. I forced myself out of bed and went down to eat dinner. “How was your first day back?” my mom asked. I responded with a simple “good.” I finished eating and went back to my bed. After a few more minutes of thinking, I reached for my phone and tapped on the icon for Discord.
I searched for my sister’s account in my DM’s, which happened to be the last one. Tapping on our chats, I found only two calls. I recalled that they were from the times our parents needed to find us. I tapped on the call icon and hoped for the best. After a few seconds of her ringtone, a song I had never known she liked, she answered. “Hey.” I said softly. “Hi? Is something wrong?” Tina responded, sounding slightly confused. “No, I just wanted to ask how you were doing,” I replied. “Good I guess, how about you?” “I’m good, thanks.” “If that’s all, I need to get my homework done now.” “Okay bye.” I said as I hung up.
It was a short conversation, but it was the only conversation we had in more than a year now where we were decent to each other, and it was all I needed. I jotted down a quick note to myself in my notebook. “Call and text Tina more often.”