Banning Cell Phones – Angela ESL-E Grade 9

This standard five-paragraph essay is written by one of my ESL-E grade 9 students. She has clearly mentioned her subtopics in a parallel structure in the introduction. She has also followed the rules of unity and coherence, discussing only one issue per paragraph. Each paragraph also begins with a short clear topic sentence. Each point also is supported by a number of specific examples and details, which makes the essay very convincing. Finally, she ends the essay by making an appeal to all teenagers to put away their cell phones and live a healthy life.

Raising Empathy – Sabrina, IELTS Student

This standard five-paragraph essay is written by one of my IELTS students. She has an interesting hook-clincher strategy, starting the essay with the Syrian boy and finishing it with the same image. Also, she proposes three different strategies, which can be used to raise empathy and compassion in people. Finally, she successfully includes specific examples and details to back up her points, which makes the essay very convincing.